Epic Cover Letter is Epic!

Epic Cover Letter is Epic! - One of the funniest cover letter ever seen.

Subject: Office Manager at Software Company (ACME Corp.)


This job is exactly the position I’ve been looking for!

Forget all the other candidates for aviary, I am the BEST.

  • Organizing shit? Check.
  • Calling number and shit? Double-check.
  • Customer support and shit? Mega-check.
  • Faxing number and shit? MOTHERFLIPPING CHECK ALL OVER THAT.

Don’t believe me? Check this shit out:

  • I am devilishly handsome: I was Prom King two years in a row with two different queens.
  • I am ridiculously smart: I can solve any Rubiks cube in front of your face with my magic fingers. I will bring one to prove it.
  • I have pinpoint accuracy: I killed a hawk once with a ninja star (sorry Aviary)
  • I am goo for office morale: When someone cries I am all sympathetic and shit

Need my resume? Nope. Not when you got my FACTS!

  • I am honorable: I am the son of a librarian and a Capricorn.
  • I am brave: I fight crime on weekends. I don’t wear a cape yo that shit is for PIMPS.
  • I am dependable: Just call my name and I’ll be there.

I’ll pop in tomorrow to get my paperwork all signed up around 11 a.m.
No need for an interview, trust me you will love me. I got your address from google, because my internet research skill are the shit.
I actually have been to a spa near your building before a few times so I already know the area.


PST. My favorite color is TOUPE because it rhymes with DOPE!!

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